


I did fall for you. Literally.

by Bumblebeecumberbund



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:23:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3062492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bumblebeecumberbund/pseuds/Bumblebeecumberbund
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is drunk by Sherlock's grave because it's been two years.<br/>Sherlock is standing behind a tree and listen to what John has to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I did fall for you. Literally.

It's been two years since Sherlock had committed suicide. Exactly two years today and John is trying not to make such a big deal out of it. That is why he is sitting in front of Sherlock's grave, with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his right hand and using his left hand to constantly wipe away the tears that is streaming down his face. Of course he had waited until everyone he knew usually visited Sherlock's grave had come and gone so he didn't have to be interrupted. He put on a fake smile and went on with his life whenever there was someone in his presence. But when he was alone in his flat you could only really find him in one place and that was in Sherlock's bedroom, curled up like a ball with a bottle of something strong by his side.

John blames himself. Was it something he did? Something he could've done differently? If only he could go back in time and ask him. Ask Sherlock why. Why he would leave John here all by himself? He wasn't exactly all by himself. But ever since he died John couldn't stand being in the same room as anyone else. The only good thing that came out of this is that Moriarty died as well. John really did hate that guy.

John tried not to think about him. No, this is Sherlock's day. He told himself over and over again not to make a big deal out of this day but how could he not really? It was Sherlock. His best friend, his flatmate, his... Love. Yes of course. He loved Sherlock. Love him. But never like everyone assumed he did. At least not until it was too late.

It was because of that that his relationships with girls after he met Sherlock didn't last longer than a few months. And that he never so much as took a second look at a women in Sherlock's presence because his eyes was always fixed on him. Maybe if he just figured it out sooner. What if Sherlock felt the same? The thought had crossed his mind, maybe Sherlock killed himself because he knew John never would return the feelings?

But he couldn't afford to think like that. He can't bring himself even more pain.

"Oh god Sherlock..." He said quietly, not trusting his voice to speak any louder. He took a sip, wiped away a few tears.

"I know I've asked you before. But Sherlock please." He took a deep breath.

"One last miracle, for me. Don't. Be. Dead." He waited a few seconds like something was actually gonna happen. He shook his head and chuckled. He didn't believe in a higher power. He didn't actually believe Sherlock could hear him from wherever he is. But a part of him hoped he did in fact, could hear him.

And little to John's knowledge was that Sherlock could actually hear him. Yes because he was standing not too far away. He was hiding, with his back pressed up against an oak tree, trying not to make a sound. He wished he could've come back sooner. He knew John was miserable. He wanted to tell John everything, tell him that it wasn't his fault. He couldn't tell him it wasn't because of him because that was a lie. He did it to protect him. To keep him safe. He wanted to tell him that this was the only way.

Sherlock couldn't stop the tear that was running down his cheek. Watching John in this state was not something he enjoyed. He had kept an eye on John of course, over the past two years. He had understood how John felt about him. Sherlock didn't quite understand how he felt. He felt something, of course, he knew that much. But if it was more than just friendship he didn't quite know.

John was just staring at the grave now. He didn't cry anymore and he had thrown away the bottle. He had gotten far to drunk last year so he didn't want to be drunk this year. Well he didn't want to be too drunk. John cleared his throat to say something but he didn't know what to say. What do you say to someone who can't hear you? The truth.

"Sherlock Holmes." He started and chuckled.

"Sherlock Holmes. You magnificent human being. You are truly amazing, do you know that? I hope you do."

He wiped away a tear.

"You are amazing despite what some people say. They don't know you like I do. Did. They didn't know you like I did."

"I don't say this often. I think I haven't said this to anyone except to my family but God I love you Sherlock. I don't care anymore. I don't want to hide it anymore. I love you and I don't care who knows. Do you hear that?."

He shouted the last part. He turned around.

"I love Sherlock Hol.."

His mouth got dry, his heart stopped for a second and he couldn't move a muscle. There's just no way. No way he's standing here. John felt his head spin and had to take a step back so he wouldn't fall down.

"John." Sherlock said and took a step forward, ready to catch him if he fell. John held out is arm.

"No." He barely got the word out, it was more like a whisper. But Sherlock had heard him and backed away. Sherlock didn't know what to do next. He never faked his own death before. Should he have jumped out of a cake? Sherlock almost laughed at the idea but he managed to keep it in. Now was not the time to laugh. John just kept staring at him.

"Fuck you." He said and looked straight into Sherlock's eyes.

"Now now, there's no need to be rude." He said and smile a little. John on the other hand found nothing amusing about this at all. He was furious.

"Two... Two years Sherlock! You were gone for two years. You let me grieve for two fucking years and you expect me to be nice and happy that you all of a sudden is back?" Sherlock felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.

"You're not happy to see me?" Sherlock said and tried his best not to sound too affected by John's words.

"Not right now, no." Sherlock took a step back.

"Sherlock. Just..." Sherlock didn't meet his eyes. He didn't want John to see how sad he actually was. But he couldn't keep his eyes away for too long. He wanted to see John, actually see him. He's been watching from a distance for two years and now he was right here in from of him and he didn't want to waste it. 

"I'm sorry John." John shook his head.

"You're sorry? You really think a simple 'sorry' will make up for this? Two years Sherlock. I deserve more than a sorry." The two of them stood in silence for a while. Sherlock trying to figure out what to say and John patiently waiting for Sherlock to speak. 

"You're right." John crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Sherlock to continue. 

"I did it to protect you." He started.

"It was the only way to stop Moriarty and keep you alive. I had to disappear to be able to find his underground network. Even with him out of the picture the network would continue."

"But Moriarty is dead? 100 percent?" John said with a bit of concern in his voice. Sherlock chuckled.

"He may be smart but how do one fake his own death by shooting himself in the head?" 

"I don't know. How do one fake his own death by falling of a building?" John said. Sherlock's smile disappeared and got replaced by a complete blank expression. 

"Well... I." John cut him off before he could finish. 

"Actually, no. I don't want to know." Sherlock looked surprised. He's been waiting two years to tell John all about this and now he didn't even wanna know. Sherlock felt a little disappointed. He was pleased with the plan and wanted to impress John. But Sherlock understood that now was not the time to try and impress John.

"Surly you couldn't have done all this by yourself. Who else knew? Mycroft?" 

"Yes." John chuckled.

"Of course. Anyone else? Please don't tell me you told Greg?" John said. He really hoped Mycroft would be the only one. But somehow John knew that more people knew.

"Who?" Sherlock said and looked confused.

"Lestrade! For christ sake Sherlock." 

"Oh. No, I didn't tell him. But a few other knew." He said and looked down at his shoes. John rolled his eyes. 

"Just tell me." 

"Molly, my parents and a couple of people from my homeless network." John didn't sat anything. He just looked at Sherlock. Neither one of them said anything, they just looked at each other. John could see in Sherlock's eyes that he was sorry and it hurt him. He wanted nothing more than to touch Sherlock but he couldn't move. Sherlock was the first to break the silence.

"So... You love me?" He said and smiled. John couldn't help but laugh this time. 

"Of course I do. You're my best friend." They both knew it was more than just as a friend. And Sherlock wanted him to say it, he wanted to be 100 percent sure. 

"John you can tell me. Please tell me." John looked down to the ground for a second. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth but nothing came out so he closed it again. He shifted his weight to his left foot and cleared his throat again. 

"I." He chuckled and looked down at the ground again. He looked up at Sherlock and he just stood there, letting John take as long as he needed. He understood that this wasn't easy for him. Maybe this was too much to ask for. 

"I love you Sherlock. I'm in love with you. I don't know what made me fall for you but I did. I fell madly in love with you and it's the scariest thing in the world but it's also the best thing." Sherlock smiled and took a step forward. John's heart started beating faster and now he really couldn't move. He just kept staring at Sherlock. 

"Well... I did fall for you too. Literally." He said and smirked. John shook his head.

"You have no right to joke about that right now." John said seriously. Sherlock opened his mouth to speak but John cut him to it.

"I'm serious Sherlock. If you make one more joke I will kill you myself and this time you will stay dead." He said and looked Sherlock dead serious in the eyes.

"Oh please. Killing me was so two years ago." John took a deep breath.

"You cock." Sherlock took a step closer and John clenched his fists.

"You say such sweet things. But I do prefer it when you called me magnificent and amazing, I believe was the words you used earlier." John rolled his eyes and they started to walk away. 

"I'm starting to regret that."

**Author's Note:**

> So this is very short and I am very aware of that but it's my first Johnlock short story so the others will be longer! Hope you liked it!


End file.
